Tag Archives: self-esteem

I love myself enough to (3)…

[This is third in the series of this topic…. to understand what’s being said here, please read the last two blog posts. Thank you.]

A topic of this nature, how to understand and potentially handle regrets, in a blog post of about 500 words, would be considered foolhardy, even by myself ;)… but, nevertheless, I’m going to try and do it :)! Instead of preaching, I’m going to share how I handle this matter in my own life.

Here’s what I do: I divide all desires, small and big, partly frivolous (getting a tattoo/body piercing, taking a dance course) and/or materialistic (buying a high-ticket item when money is scarce), personal yearnings (traveling somewhere, doing something special for someone I love), and other wants and needs, into two sections.

One contains the superficial, slightly worldly and materialistic desires, and the other contains the ‘higher’ soul-needs… which cannot be compromised, which I don’t want to fail at, at any cost, which I know will nourish my soul and deepen my connection with the Universe — these may involve money spent on intellectual and/or spiritual activities, spending money and effort on making calm/peace-inducing and other similar changes in my immediate environment, permitting myself the luxury of paying for what is meaningful in my life, vis a vis people, places, things.

So, then, I take these two sections, and one at a time, I address the items on the two lists and give it the ‘death-bed test’! A ‘death-bed test???… what’s that, you’re probably wondering :)! Well, all it means is that when I’m ready to pass on, how will I feel about this particular thing? Will it be alright with me that I didn’t do it, or will I feel remorse and regret that I let the time or moment pass, and didn’t do, or say, something I should have 🙁 ? And, at that point, if it’s absolutely clear to me, at a deep, and soul level, that I’ll have regrets, while dying, I go ahead and just do it, and/or say it 🙂 !!!

And how did I hit upon this ‘test’? It happened when after 25 years of deliberating whether or not I should get a tattoo — seeing a beautiful rosebud on a woman’s ankle on Oxford Street in London in 1980, immediately wanting it, but having been raised in India, very conventionally, with strict ideas of ‘wrong’ and ‘right’, was very unsure about getting it — for reasons of ‘What will people think?’ ‘I’m the principal and owner of a school — if people find out, will it hurt my business?’ ‘Will people who judge people with tattoos, find me too wild?’ — all these, and a host of related questions kept me deliberating forever! Then I moved to Montreal in 1993, at a time when tattooing had evolved, it was all the rage, and I knew in my heart I still wanted one…. a-n-n-n-d, s-o-o-o, I  decided to give myself the ‘death-bed test’ 🙂… and immediately I knew… if I didn’t get my tattoo, I would be very regretful on my dying day, that for the sake of what others would think, I didn’t get it in this lifetime 🙁  🙁 🙁 !!! This discovery was SO FREEING, brought such a sense of liberation, that I decided I just had to be true to myself, and I went ahead and got my tattoo!!! This experience led to the wonderful innovation of the ‘death-bed test’! Since then, whenever I’m faced with a situation that I start deliberating too long over, I give myself this ‘test’!!!

Your turn, now… give yourself a death-bed test, and think about what you would do differently, what would you DO instead of not doing, and in the final analysis, what would see you smile, on YOUR death-bed? Choose that, and DO IT 🙂

 

“I love myself enough to (2)…

…take the time and trouble to get all the information I need to understand what makes me thrive, and what hurts me.” How wonderful it would be if we all had the clarity to be able to understand and declare this to ourselves!

This information would obviously cover the physical, the mental, the emotional, and the spiritual realms of being. Many, in fact a great majority, is aware only of the physical and mental aspects of life… a few more will entertain the workings of the emotional mind, but the more we learn, the more we understand that if we truly love and respect ourselves, we cannot ignore the interplay of these ALL four aspects of our true and complete reality. And more importantly, a lack of balance in the first three will truly hurt the spiritual aspect, which is the most important aspect of them all.

So, if I truly loved and respected myself, I would do everything in my power to live a fulfilled life — with no regrets! <3 On this Easter Sunday, my wish for you all is, may you fulfill each life-enhancing dream, experiencing every happiness, and when it's time for the final goodbye, 'leave' peacefully, with no regrets! <3

Part 3 — How to Praise and Encourage…

boy_face_cartoon_clip_art_23099…outer and inner children! I hope that by now you have mastered this business of being a good, empathetic, sympathetic parent, manager, coach, teacher to people, and most importantly to and outer and inner children in your life :)! This is THE most important role for anybody to master, so as a reader of this blog do yourself proud and change the old thinking. Love yourself, and praise others! 🙂

(Please know this is the third and LAST post in the series of ‘How to Praise and Encourage a Child’ — if you missed the first two parts, please see them first. Each has 15 correct and appropriate expressions to use. You’ll find them in the categories ‘Soul Soup’ and ‘Our Health’.) 

imagesBelow are 15 more ways to express love to the children in your life, both INNER and outer!

1. Super Star!

2. Now you’re flying!

3. You’re incredible!

4. Hurray for you!

5. Dynamite!

6. You’re fabulous / beautiful / you’re looking great!

7. That’s absolutely correct!

8. You’re a winner!

smiling_girl_face_clip_art_187939. Remarkable job!

10. Yeah! Magnificent!

11. I’m impressed!

12. You’re so caring!

13. You’re important!

14. You’re outstanding!

15. I love you!

Did it sink in yet? Praise the outer and inner children as much as you can. NEVER, NEVER, NEVER shame them—give them more, and more, chances to shine!

And hey 🙂 — You’re my sunshine 🙂

 

Part 2 — How to Praise and Encourage…

…a Child! Now that you have developed some expertise in encouraging and praising a child, INCLUDING YOUR OWN CHILD PARTS :), helping them to bloom, blossom and have high self-esteem, here are some more ways to do it!

untitledHere are 15 more examples of appropriate language and expressions, to use for this purpose!

1. How nice

2. That’s incredible

3. Much better

4. Spectacular

5. You’re precious

6. You’re a darling

7. Atta boy / Atta girl

8. Hip, hip hurray

9. Phenomenal

10. You’re important

11. You’re sensational

12. You’re fun

13. What an imagination

14. You tried hard

15. I trust you!

imagesAnd, once MORE — say these to the children you come in contact with, AND ESPECIALLY YOUR INNER CHILDREN, who need to hear this FIRST…because if you get comfortable with saying it to your INNER CHILDREN you will spontaneously be able to say it to all children!

AND DON’T FORGET: The pat on the back (on your own back too), A big hug (to yourself too), A thumbs-up sign and a wink (to yourself), A warm smile (a smile of satisfaction, for yourself)!

Hey :)…HOT DOG :))) — you’re doin’ good, Kid 🙂

 

How to Praise and Encourage a Child :)

smiling_girl_face_clip_art_18793Not all parents, mentors, coaches and leaders know the right way to help a child bloom and blossom, and develop their self-esteem. Some even believe that too much praise can be bad. This would beg the question, how much praise is too much praise? But without worrying about ‘how much’ it is more important to use the right language of praise at the right time. Here are 15 examples of appropriate praise that will go straight to a child’s heart — be sure that it is sincere and from YOUR heart :)!

1. Wow

2. Way to go

3. Super

4. I knew you could do it

5. Fantastic

6. Bravo

7. You’re so smart

8. Good job

9. I like what you do/did

10. Beautiful work

11. I appreciate your help

12. Super work / You’re very creative

13. You’re terrific

14. You’re a real trooper

15. You’re so thoughtful

ALSO: A pat on the back, A big hug, A kiss, A thumbs-up sign, A warm smile, A smile and a secret wink in public.

boy_face_cartoon_clip_art_23099

And NOW, a MOST IMPORTANT part!!! No matter how old we get, inside each and everyone of us is A CHILD PART who did not receive enough praise, or even if he/she did, it may not have been at an appropriate time…and it’s very possible that this child part receives no praise any more. So, PLEASE, praise your child part at EVERY possible opportunity. Say one or more of the above to yourself every time you feel you deserve some praise — and we all deserve SOME praise EACH DAY! 🙂

Hey, YOU’RE A TREASURE :))) — and I mean it from my heart! <3