Some good clean jokes :)

I love telling jokes, and love it when I find good, clean ones that can be told in any company. The beauty of clean jokes is that they need true wit, and a real sense of humor, unlike ‘adult’ jokes where it is sexual innuendos that amuse us!

These are from an email forward from a long time ago that I saved in my ‘Good Jokes’ folder. It’s very likely that some of you may have heard some of these before, but hey, a good joke is a good joke — we can always enjoy them a second, or a third time! So here goes…

West Jet is an airline with its head office located in Calgary, Alberta. Its airline attendants try to make the in-flight “safety lecture” and other announcements more entertaining than is usual in the airline industry. Here are some examples:

On a West Jet flight there is no assigned seating, you just sit where you
want. Passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a flight
attendant announced, “People, people… we’re not picking out furniture here,
find a seat and get in it!”
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On another West Jet flight with a very “senior” flight attendant crew, the pilot said: “Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants.”
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On landing, the stewardess said, “Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you’re going to leave anything, please make sure it’s something we’d like to have.”
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“Thank you for flying West Jet Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the
business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride.”
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As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Vancouver Airport, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: “Whoa, big fella, WHOA!”
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“In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your favorite.”
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“Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we’ll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than West Jet Airlines.”
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“As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses.”
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On a West Jet Airlines flight into Regina, on a particularly windy and bumpy day, the Captain was really having to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the flight attendant said: “Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Regina. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the captain taxis what’s left of our
airplane to the gate!”
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An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his plane into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and say, “Thanks for flying our airline.” He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane. She said, “Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?” “Why, no, Ma’am,” said the pilot. “What is it?” The little old lady said, “Did we land, or were we shot down?
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Reading and posting them here made me laugh yet again — hope you enjoyed them too! 🙂

 

One thought on “Some good clean jokes :)

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