* To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
*A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.
The engineer fumed, “What’s with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!”
The doctor added, “I don’t know, but I’ve never seen such inept golf!”
keeper. Let’s have a word with him.” He said, “Hello George, What’s wrong with that group ahead of us? They’re rather slow, aren’t they?”
keeper replied, “Oh, yes. That’s a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime!”
The group fell silent for a moment. The priest said, “That’s so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.”
The doctor said, “Good idea. I’m going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if here’s anything she can do for them.”
The engineer said, “Why can’t they play at night?”
* Three men were sentenced to be executed by guillotine: a priest, a doctor, and an engineer.
First came the priest and he asked that he be allowed to face upwards so he could look at Heaven and his Creator. His wish was granted and the blade fell, but stopped 1/2 inch from his neck. the executioner said since the guillotine spared him, so was his life, and he was allowed to leave.
Then came the doctor, and he too requested that he be allowed to face upwards. Again the guillotine stopped just short, and his life too was spared.
The engineer was last and he too asked to face upwards given what happened with the first two. As he lay there, he looked up at the mechanism and said, “Aha, I see where the problem is!”
Good ones, I thought, when a friend sent me these :)! Watch out other professions…I’m going to be on a lookout for jokes on everyone ;)!